My ex-partner was already part of the military when we married - something I supported despite not knowing much at all about what it entailed, and how it would impact me and our relationship.

Some people might think that I must have had an idea of what was to come, but I truly didn’t. At the time, we lived in a small place where nobody else had previously joined the military, so all I really knew was that he’d be going away for a few months each year and we’d need to move around.

When it happened, I was thrown in at the deep end. Almost immediately we moved away, and, at the time, I already had two children and was pregnant with our third.

Moving somewhere completely new to you can be inherently difficult, but it becomes even more so when you’re also raising three small children and you don’t have a core support network.

At times, I was lucky enough to be living nearby other military wives whose husbands went off at similar times to my own. I was able to build up friendships with these women - that was, however, until someone was posted and moved elsewhere.

It was just as difficult for our children to integrate too. One of our children moved school nine times before leaving at 16.

My ex-partner used to miss both my birthday and Valentine’s Day each year, which was awful. Emails weren’t a thing at the time, so it was even more difficult to communicate with him when he was away. He had some access to comms because of his position, so he could set up phone calls, but this was never a routine thing. He’d just try to call when he could. Eventually, I found that no contact was easier to manage as long as I knew he was ok.

I got better at dealing with the challenges that came with being a military wife over the 16 years I was with my ex-partner, but I never got used to them.

It was lonely and isolating, and raising my children whilst moving frequently was stressful - all things that other military families sometimes contend with and need extra support for.

"Through my experience, I became more resilient and self-sufficient. I learnt not to panic and to take things in my stride, but I would have loved to have had more support to help me manage my mental health at the time."

Mental health wasn’t something people talked about when I was a military wife. And, relatively simple things that would have been a huge support to have, such as a document describing the emotional cycle of deployment, didn’t exist. Thankfully, that’s changing and there is now so much more support for military families and personnel than there was when I was a military wife. There’s also a lot less stigma around accessing it.

Anchoring Minds, for example, is Solent Mind’s emotional wellbeing service, ensuring Royal Navy and Royal Marine personnel and their families know how and where to access mental health support when they need it.

This could be something as simple as a friendly chat with someone who understands what you’re going through, or access to peer support groups or free resources to improve your wellbeing.

To learn more about Anchoring Minds and how we can support you, visit solentmind.org.uk/anchoringminds