As the mum and carer of two adult children, I often struggle with self-care. Although I thrive on being busy, I look after people more than I tend to look after myself.

Money worries

Back in 2015, my son was transferring over from DLA to PIP when he was denied it. This made my mental health a lot worse. I made an appointment with the doctor about upping my anti-depressant dosage. The doctor at the time refused and suggested a course of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) with Talking Change instead, which was not suitable for me.

During that time, I was still on a low income while waiting for my Carers’ Allowance to be put in place. I had a bailiff come to the door during lockdown, which is why I got in contact with Citizens Advice who signposted me to Solent Mind.

Four years later in 2019, we finally got his PIP sorted after two more attempts to apply for it. Then lockdown started just a few months later.

Looking after my physical and mental health

I have anxiety and depression and I’m currently experiencing perimenopause. I am now having complications of my Type 2 Diabetes and Peripheral Artery Disease. This is due to not having any self-care in place and putting others’ needs before my own physical and mental wellbeing.

I am now putting myself first and getting my health back both the physical and mental health by going to the gym, and doing Aquafit, getting out of the house and walking for at least half an hour a day when I’m not at the gym.

I’m trying to push myself out of my comfort zone. I started attending the coffee morning drop-ins at Solent Mind’s Portsmouth Wellbeing Centre. I’ve also taken part in the Decider Skills workshops.

I’m quite arty in my spare time. I have an interest in rock painting and likes to leave them around the community for others to find and brighten their day. I also collect sea glass and do bookcrossing. I have attended my Local Carers’ Centre to do creative writing and I’ve also done some photography and art classes via the WEA.

Attending the drop-ins gets me out of the house and I’ve realised I’m just the same as everyone else. I also like the social aspect, making new connections over tea, coffee and biscuits. 

The support from Solent Mind has also reminded me that there’s only so much I can do for other people if I’m not looking after myself.