Before meeting with my Employment Advisor, I genuinely felt that I had nothing to offer. She helped me to realise that I was capable of a lot more than I had given myself credit for.
I first came into contact with Solent Mind after being diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) which was previously known as Borderline Personality Disorder. I had been in and out of mental health services since the age of 16, previously receiving treatment for anxiety, depression, OCD and anger management. I was eventually diagnosed with EUPD at the age of 32, after being admitted to hospital following a suicide attempt.
I was neither eating nor sleeping properly, which obviously made it more difficult to manage my symptoms. I had been off of work for a few years and due to this my financial and living situation had become desperate. I felt completely trapped and alone. I didn’t talk to family or friends about how bad things had got for me because I felt there was nothing anyone could do to help, short of funding my own place to live and providing me enough money to stay off of work indefinitely.
After I was discharged, I was told that I would be able to start treatment for EUPD, but there was a wait. One day I walked past Solent Mind’s Portsmouth Wellbeing Centre (now reimagined as PositiveMinds) in total distress. I didn’t know what it was or what the service offered, but I saw some notices in the window about mental health support and I just walked in in tears asking for help.
Their wellbeing advisors fixed me a drink sat and talked to me about what I was going through and invited me to attend their emotional regulation group to help me whilst I was waiting for my treatment at hospital. I feel I would’ve really struggled to keep myself safe without their support. Even just knowing I had somewhere to go during those difficult months made things easier.
Eventually my living situation became so intolerable that I needed to start working again so that I could afford to move out. My nurse referred me to Solent Mind’s Portsmouth Employment Support Service to help me back to work.
I was dubious at first. I had spent almost three years at this point on ESA (Employment and Support Allowance) and had very negative ideas about ‘support’ with employment after my experiences at the job centre. I could not have been more wrong and alongside my amazing mental health nurse, my Solent Mind Employment Advisor helped me completely turn my life around.
By this time, I was 34 or 35 years old, had been off of work for 3 years, and although I had good grades and work experience in management, I had never been able to keep a job for more than a couple of years. I had frequently been signed off sick for months at a time throughout my entire working history, so I already felt that I was too ill to even try to hold down a full-time job.
I had given up all hope of finding a ‘career’. I felt that I had nothing to offer and no one would ever want to hire me. Because of this, I was applying for jobs that I was over-qualified for. My Employment Advisor helped me to realise that I wasn’t incapable of working at my potential, but that my previous jobs weren’t great for my wellbeing and I wasn’t receiving the right support from my employers.
She took the time to go through my employment history and point out all the transferable skills that I had to offer as an employee, as well as all the experience I could bring to a role. Before meeting with her, I genuinely felt that I had nothing to offer, but she helped me to realise that I was capable of a lot more than I had given myself credit for. I also began to realise that part of my issue with my previous jobs had been that I had found them unfulfilling or unrewarding, which had caused my motivation to drop even lower.
My Employment Advisor encouraged me to apply for a job with Solent Mind after I expressed an interest in the work that she did. Due to my low self-esteem, I would never have even attempted to apply for such a position without her encouragement… I felt that I couldn’t possibly be qualified enough to help others.
She helped me construct an application and pointed out the qualities and skills that I couldn’t see in myself at the time. To my surprise I was offered an interview, and although I was unsuccessful, the interviewer asked if I would be interested in volunteering to build more experience. I started to volunteer with the team once a week and my Employment Advisor also offered me experience in helping her construct a quarterly newsletter.
Now that I had a goal to work toward, I found myself feeling a lot more positive about my future. I took a job as a Sales Assistant to make ends meet and continued to volunteer for Solent Mind. When the next opportunity came around to apply for a job with them a year later, I had working knowledge of the role on top of my own experience of receiving support from the service.
I’m pleased to say that I have now been an Employment Advisor for Solent Mind for almost a year. I absolutely love my role and my previous work issues are in the past. If I do need support, my line manager does all she can to help and I’ve not needed to take time off work like I used to.
My team (and the other teams we work alongside) are kind, supportive and open and I’m never made to feel that I am somehow less important or ‘difficult’ due to the fact I have a personality disorder. My lived experience with a serious mental health diagnosis, workplace issues, the difficult benefits system and as a former Service User gives me the ability to be empathetic and relate to the people I support in a unique way. I am so grateful to Solent Mind and particularly the Portsmouth Employment Support Service for helping me find my place and make my journey worthwhile.
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Find new opportunities and thrive in the workplace with personalised employment guidance. Part of NHS Talking Therapies Portsmouth.
Portsmouth Peer Support and Wellbeing Team based in the Portsmouth Wellbeing Centre, PositiveMinds. It is a unique service offering 1:1 support for adults in Portsmouth who are finding life difficult. We also offer bespoke services for people who require additional support in the community.
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