In a time of increasing cost of living and economic uncertainty, concerns continue to grow over the effect that financial stress has on people’s mental wellbeing. 

When that stress turns to debt, it can take a massive toll on their mental health. In the latest episode of Solent Mind’s men’s mental health chat, ‘Let’s Talk Mate,’ the crew spoke about all things money, debt, and mental health.    

How do gender stereotypes create a stigma? 

Gender stereotypes and expectations of men is a common theme on the podcast, and this episode is no different. 

The pressure of expectations put on men, sometimes by themselves, has a huge effect on the mental health struggle that comes with money problems. 

Rob Eamey, Community Peer Team Leader, said: “I’ve come across this before with a few of my clients, especially those that have been older, they’ve been raised to feel that it is the responsibility of men to be the ‘bread winners’ or the earners.” 

“Even if there aren’t anyone putting that pressure on them, they are putting those expectations on themselves, so it can be hard to admit we are not coping with keeping up with our money.” 

The habits of people because of these stereotypes can also have a negative impact on your mental health when you’re already in debt, as Peer Support Project Worker Loysen O’Reilly, explained:  

“It will often happen when you go to a restaurant for a meal and the waiter comes over with the bill, and he will put it in front of you, and you have to pass it off to your partner. 

“And then you are sitting there thinking ‘what does this person think of me’, and after a while luckily I stopped thinking about it because I just thought ‘this person doesn’t know anything about me or my situation’.”    

‘A dirty little secret.’ 

Throughout the podcast the idea of debt was commonly referred to by how men see it as something to kept to themselves, which causes added stress and anxiety, as well as making them feel like they can’t discuss it. 

Loysen explains how this stigma, can lead to more debt: “Most men I’ve spoken to about debt, whether they are in a relationship or not, it is that dirty secret. Like they’ve done something wrong, and they don’t want to talk to people about it.” 

“That causes stress, they don’t want people to find out, so they turn to alternate methods which may lead to even more debt.” 

Matthew Winnington, one of the service managers for Remind Dementia Service, saw another danger of keeping debt a secret while working in previous roles: 

“I’ve seen this, where you’ve even had people who’ve had debt issues and haven’t share it with their partner, then that has come to light whether it be because they have been diagnosed with dementia or some other incapacity; That they’ve no longer been able to manage the money.” 

“That becomes quite difficult for the partner to deal with, but also the person themselves, as it makes them feel very bad. Again, because they haven’t talked about debt issues, that is an embarrassment and something they want to hide away.”    

The out-of-work stigma  

Whether someone is between jobs, recently let go, or signed off work for any physical or mental health reasons; being out-of-work can come with a stigma. 

Rob spoke of how he was made to feel when he was still job hunting after being signed off sick: “That is the first question you ask a lot of people, you know, what do you do for a living? I remember someone saying to me once, ‘why are you going out when you are on job seekers?’” 

“I felt like, am I not allowed to go out for some stress relief, see my friends, socialise and do all those things to better my wellbeing? Yes, you have to be a bit more careful, but even if you are on benefits, and not working, you should be entitled to a good quality of life.” 

If you’d like to hear more about the topics we’ve discussed, watch the full episode on… 

YouTube: https://buff.ly/3yNPl0K  

Spotify: https://buff.ly/3CNAcyD  

Or Facebook: https://buff.ly/36oWR6b 

And follow @solentmind for future episodes of ‘Let’s Talk Mate’