Hi, I’d like to share my post update with you guys – maybe it can help others with hope for recovery xx
So my first milestone has arrived … 1 stone and 1/2 a pound since 4th January. To anyone living with a chronic illness, this is for you …
This is more than just a new year cliché – this is the last step of me taking control of my illness. I could never have imagined how far the ripples of living with a mental illness would go and all the facets of my life that it’s affected.
From problems keeping a job, getting into debt, becoming a victim of abuse to medication induced obesity, admissions into psychiatric hospital and crippling mental instability that’s caused me to lose people I love from my life – this disease permeated everything that made me who I was and left behind an ugly, resentful and bitter shadow of who I used to be.
Over last year I have worked tirelessly to improve my feelings of self-worth and focussed hard in therapy to understand where it all went wrong and re-wire my mind to find myself again … to fix everything that went wrong through no fault of my own.
The last step is this – losing all this weight that I’ve been carrying around the past 7 years like old baggage from the past. Living with a chronic mental illness destroyed me and its repercussions went so much further than I ever thought possible.
But the light never fully went out inside. That hope brings me to where I am today – married to a wonderful man, surrounded by loving family & friends, in a professional job that I always wanted and most of all, to be able to look in the mirror each day and not hate who I see.
Recovery isn’t easy nor is it linear, but it’s possible and it’s that life light of recovery that means you can find your way out of the dark too. There will still be dark days – I am by no means cured but I can now live well despite my illness – fulfilling my dreams and being the best version of myself I can be.
This isn’t about ‘New Year, New Me’ … it’s about ‘New Year, Old Me’